The Strangers

This movie was one of those films that makes you go, "Wow. What a complete and utter waste of my time." In a few words: Boring. Plotless. Inane.

Liv Tyler is gorgeous, and the acting isn't bad, but to what purpose? We get meager character development for the two leads and nothing else. There are the inevitable stupid blunders every hero or heroine in every horror film always makes, the chase, and then the end. I could not have been more disappointed.

In the world of good horror movies, this was an abortion. There is nothing in this movie that separates it from any other horror movie. Do yourselves a favor; look elsewhere, or if you must, rent it. DO NOT BUY!!!

Seeing the trailers for "The Strangers", I was tantilized like everyone else, thinking this would be a really creepy, "It could happen to you" thriller. A young couple being terrorized in the wee hours by masked intruders out for some thrill-killing? Good stuff. I was so disappointed by this movie! It has a prologue which essentially gives away the ending, which was my first gripe. The couple, played by Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler, are very annoying. Don't get me wrong, I find both actors very liakble . . .but as characters in this claptrap, they suffer from a common syndrome among movie couples in thrillers. they never really seem to talk or believe each other. Speedman seems surprisingly unalarmed by the events, which I was hoping would lead to a delicious twist at the end, adding a double entandre to the title. Nope. The film borrows from every classic . . ."A Clockwork Orange", "Halloween", "In Cold Blood", etc. It's directed with style and oodles of atmosphere thanks to the cinematography and music by tomandandy. However, the movie gets weighed down in its cliches and never taps into its very frightening premise in a primal way. The characters fall down, get limping leg injuries, and as usual, the killers are master electricians, cutting power and devices that offer escape and help. There are more plot-holes here than a wheel of Swiss cheese. Look at the scene with Tyler's cell phone early on . . .does anyone have a cell that will not work even when you plug it into the charger regardless if the battery is weak or dead?

The ending is the one moment that the film hints at what should have been a much scarier movie, as it is also the moment of relaization that everything that came before it was time-stalling prologue, which makes less sense as a story. It was like the ending belonged in another movie. A better one. The actors are on their game in this scene and it's what elevated the rating by one star for me. I just wish the rest of the movie had the balls to follow this premise more closely instead of boring me for 80 minutes to reach one moment of terror.

The special features do not help. Mostly the filmmakers and actors all pat themselves on the back, but it offers no insight and does not reference the "true story" it is based on. Very disappointing.

Rant mode: engaged.
The horror remake is a genre that needs to die right the hell now. People who buy tickets to this sort of thing, puchase the DVDs, and tell people that drek like this is good: you are the problem and the reason Hollywood doesn't bother with things like imagination and creativity anymore. Support the real deal and shun garbage like "The Strangers" or great American horror will simply cease to be.

Throw a few attractive, brainless, vapid characters with the common sense of a moth into a secluded location, create an entire subplot about why they can't use their cellphone (the newest hateful cliche to besmirch my favorite film genre), send in psychic faceless killers who can disappear and reappear at will, cue cheap startle scares and old music -preferably played on an old-time record player, and call it a film. Oh, yes, I forgot the best part: claim it was based on a true story. This is to say that once upon a time, some people died and nobody really knows how or why. So just use their actual names and location and build a preposterously moronic excuse for a story and watch the sheep pay their hard-earned cash for the latest horror fraud. This is the last remake I will ever watch that isn't put in the hands of a director I know only puts out quality work. In fact, I received this by accident and watchd it grudgingly. I wish I had sent it back without even opening it. I could have spent that time doing something else. Anything else.

Now, I haven't yet seen Them (a.k.a. Ils), the film alegedly based on the real events that was remade as "The Strangers", but I may well skip it if the plot is as hollow and the "scares" as impotent as they are here. I was literally calling every attempted scare as it happened in my mind. Oh look, he doesn't see her in the closet, but as soon as he appears to move on BAM! From the side! Startled yet? Maybe if you've never ever seen a slasher flick. Of course they know where everybody is; they ALWAYS KNOW in spite of the crummy visibility their masks must offer. Here's the entire plot. Unlikeable mumbling couple lull you half to sleep before Liv Tyler (still almost as hot as her dad is rockin') puts on a nighty to make things watchable. Panties come off and....knock knock. Man shoos off bizarre 4 AM knocker girl and promptly ditches his wife under these creepy circumstances. About 45 knocks later, you get the only legitimate scare in the film. It's been done, but it's done well here right before it is undone by the mega-cliche of having the masked stalker behind our protagonist vanish as she turns around. That was when I knew I was in for a long night. Moving on: 3 wierdos in unscary masks continue play pranks on our couple all night before remembering what they wanted to do the next day and then going on about their pointless business. The end.

Details, you ask? You'll be sorryyy...
Masked killers to affluent couple: "Ha ha, popped your tires and busted your windshield, losers! Pwned!" "I totally wrote 'hello' all over your mirror, dudes! Isn't that FREAKY!" "I'm gonna cuuuut yooooouu. No, not really. No really, I am! See me scraping the knife on stuff as I slowly walk towards you? Creepy! I'm really gonna cut you. NOT!"
So the requisite friend comes to visit and enters the fugged-up house without so much as a "hello, anyone home" while the couple are huddled in a room with a shotgun pointed at the door. Gee, I can't imagine how this will end. Oh, wait, there's a sranger totally following him with an axe so.... nope, ironic cliche overdrive still in effect. Snore. Oh, look the big man with a gun is ditching his lady again. Why? Because he's an idiot. How about BOTH OF YOU going outside together so that you two with the friggin' gun and pockets full of shells have a wide open view and can therefore shoot any of the three knife and hatchet wielding masked losers trying to prank you to death? No? You'd rather get snuck up on trying to hotwire a vehicle while your wife sits in the house alone with her face buried in her knees and the dude with a gunney sack on his head stares at her while doing that head-tilting thing that hasn't been effective since "Halloween"? Alright, I guess that's what any reasonable couple in peril would do. Does anyody find any of this believable or remotely scary? Anyone?

Horror films based entirely off of people's stupidity (both the audience's and the characters') should have ended when Scream dropped. If we keep gobbling it up, Hollywood will happily continue to crank out mountains of cinematic feces. If I was 12 and had never seen Halloween, this may have creepd me out then. But when I'm acutely aware of how every single scene will end and actively annoyed by the stupidity of each and every character, a tension and suspense vacuum inevitably results. The ending is particularly laughable. The final shot is the most cliche of them all and the only thing remotely disturbing about the stangers' parting line "next time wil be easier" is that it implies a possible sequel. That and the only way to make it easier would have been to not act like a bunch of prank-crazed teleporting fratboys who have seen too many slasher films for an entire night before finally doing what they presumably came to do (for no reason, mind you) in broad daylight to a couple that appeared to desire nothing more than death's sweet release from the opening scene. If you want to see a horror film with a similar concept that is the real deal, pick up a copy of Inside. This is neither horror nor suspense. This is unintentional comedy and tragedy of the lamest kind. Avoid at all costs. Support original horror (American or foreign) or I'll find a mask of my own. I know where you live. I am the masked stranger and I always know where you are and I can totally teleport and stuff. Perhaps one day you will have scary stuff like "hello" written on your mirror by me. Wooooooooo....

Terror abounds in this frightening thriller about two young lovers being stalked by three mask-wearing killers.

James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler) are on their way to a summer retreat house. The house is completely decked out with rose petals, candles, and champagne. It was supposed to be a happy occasion for the couple, but Kristen unexpectedly turned down James' marriage proposal. Now, the couple is shut up inside the house with virtually nothing to do. Kristen discovered she had run out of cigarettes and she asked James to go out for more. But, when James leaves, the terror begins for Kristen. Soon, she is hearing strange noises and loud knocking at the front door.

The events continue to get more and more scary until the masked intruders have made their way inside the house. Ultimately, Chris and Kristen are abducted and tied up by the intruders, leaving Kristen to say "why us?" The abductors' simple reply is chilling: "because you're home".

This is a very scary movie. Yes, the movie has it's share of blood, but this movie also goes back to a time when horror movies relied on psychological terror to scare viewers. This movie does a very good job of using psychological terror. There are several scenes where the strangers are lurking in the shadows, just out of view of James and Kristen.

I enjoyed this movie very much, and I recommend it highly. If you're a fan of psychological terror, then don't miss this very scary movie.

Mainstream horror movies these days fall into two categories: tame and lifeless PG-13 ghost stories (most of which are remakes) or scareless torture-laden exercises in sadism. The Strangers thankfully falls into neither category, taking the best parts of what really makes a horror movie a horror movie; The Strangers stars Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman as a couple with some troubles spending the night in an isolated cabin after a wedding. Things start to get rather creepy however when three masked assailants make their presence known, violently escalating towards a riveting, frightening, and incredibly unsettling climax. Director Bryan Birtino mixes old school fright elements with an unnerving score, adding to the uber-creepy atmosphere, and Tyler and Speedman are surprisingly impressive as well in the leads. All in all, The Strangers is a stylish, creepy, and ultra effective thriller/horror movie that deserves your attention, and should be by all means given a look by any and every horror fan.