The Princess Diaries 2 - Royal Engagement (Full Screen Edition)

This 2nd movie about the geek turned princess is almost as good as the first. She's 5 years older and nearly ready to take the throne of Genovia but needs a few more lessons from her grandmother the Queen. She also has to deal with the fact that before she can be Queen herself she has to marry. In 30 days. It's hilarious to watch as she tries to become more sophistocated and elegant like her grandmother and goes through suitors to find Mr. Right. Anne Hathaway is even more stunning and has some great moments. Julie Andrews is fantastic and the guys are pretty cute.

The Disney Studios still have that magic touch, with Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway how could it not? An enjoyable modern-day fairly tale perfect for tweens and the elderly.

The disc are in excellent condition. They arrived on time. I am very pleased with this purchase.

My mom likes movies that have happy endings. She doesn't care if they're dumb: they just have to fulfill her little escapist fantasies. Often I wish that I could be like that, myself; that I could just watch an idiotic, fluffy chick flick and not roll my eyes at every scene or gag at the bad writing; that I, too, could have found this movie silly but enjoyable. You see, though, I have a problem: I cannot turn off my brain. If you share my deficiency, perhaps you should read my review and take my warnings into account. If you CAN turn off your brain, well, enjoy the movie.

For the record, I haven't read the books. I tried to read a Meg Cabot novel once and gave up after about the third page of the girl going "Oooh, I'm SO INDEPENDENT AND SASSY. I am truly the heroine to root for!"

I tried to find reasons for it. I mean, I like a lot of predictable chick flicks. Heck, before my mom turned on the Princess Diaries 2 I had been rewatching the Kim Possible movie that was airing on the Disney Channel. What was different about this movie? Why was I just not getting into it? Surely, there must have been SOME reasons.

First off, I blame the romances. It wasn't a good sign when the movie wrote off Michael like a bad Mary Sue fanfic: I mean come on, only ONE line that was just "Oh, the supposed love of my life is off touring with his band. And I'm totally fine with it, because it's not like the first movie stressed that I was head-over-heels in love with him... oh, wait." I'm not going to be like the girls here who absolutely hate that he wasn't in it, because I wasn't that fond of the romance in the first movie, but I absolutely hate when sequels do that. It was like Pocahontas 2 (another terrible sequel): "Hey, guess what, John Smith? I like John Rolfe now, even though the first movie basically said that we were soul mates and completely meant for each other!" At least, though, Pocahontas 2 didn't relegate John Smith to being written off in ONE LINE. That's just sloppy writing. If I'd cared about the couple, I would probably be pretty mad.

Anyway, sorry for my tangent. The problem is that we're introduced to two new guys: hot British Guy (Andrew,) and Pretty Boy Who's Being Puppeteered by His Machiavellian Uncle But Is Actually Really Nice Deep Down (Nicholas.) Mia has no chemistry with hot British guy (possibly due to the writing, because, like David Boreanz, if the guy is cute enough he can have chemistry with ANYONE.) This is okay though, because she's not supposed to. But then there's Pretty Boy, who is supposed to make Mia realize that while her pairing with Hot British Guy is a lot more practical and useful, she needs true romance in her life. (A sidenote: Oh God, please Disney, STOP with the arranged marriage crap. Mulan 2's premise was based entirely on the notion that "Arranged Marriages are BAD even though they actually had a pretty high success rate!" And poor Mia, having to marry a cute prince of her choice! I TRULY felt for her.) The problem is, Mia had no chemistry with that guy! And let me stress something: when the plot involves Mia cheating on someone with someone else, that someone else had better be someone who, when he is with her, heats up the screen. The whole love/hate premise, too, relies on how much chemistry they have. When they were arguing, I never got the feeling "Oh, just make out already!" I'm serious. You need Monica and Richard from Friends-level chemistry, or at least something more than "He's cute so I guess I'll like him." I don't even know why Mia liked him. I never did.

Next, I blame the plot. I already got into the arranged marriage issue, but when they introduced the villain, Pretty Boy's Uncle, he says something like "You wouldn't want to lose that crown: other people may grab it." We are subtly given the message that this guy is someone on whom we should keep an eye. But then the writers, thinking that its audience is absolutely stupid, makes him add "Like me." Oh, thanks writers, I NEVER would have gotten that. So nice that you took the time to clear that up. Then there are all of these references to The Prince (no, not the guy who performed at the Super Bowl Half Time Show) just to fool those of us above the age of 11 into thinking that we were watching something remotely intelligent. Nice try, movie.

Next is the movie's fatal flaw: the happy kingdom of Genovia. First off, what the heck kind of government does Genovia have? If it's a constitutional monarchy, Mia's going to be pretty disappointed in what she can all do. If it's not, which I think it is because I sort of got that Monarchy vibe, is this not the 21st century? Is our need for princesses so great that we'll take a leaf out of Hobbes's book? And what kind of name is Genovia, anyway? Couldn't Ms. Cabot have chosen a name that didn't sound completely made up? And couldn't they at least chose one uniform accent? I think Italian would have worked; Genovia seemed more Italian than anything. Anyway, we're supposed to believe that Genovians are these happy people who just LOVE having a Queen and even better if she's a 21-year-old (that's barely even legal to drink back in the USA) foreigner whom they barely know! YAY! And servants are also happy people with no needs of their own, who will do anything to please their princess, including tap routines? Again, this is probably because of that problem of not being able to turn off my brain that I have, but what kind of message is that? Even in the 18th century people were writing about servants who were wittier and more cunning than their masters, who had more of a purpose than just to serve them. Is such a gigantic step backwards necessary just to give a young girl a happy princess fantasy?

Basically, Genovia in this movie reminded me so much of Ancien Regime France vibe that all I could do was wonder when the people would get fed up enough and the Revolution would happen. I can see it now: Princess Diaries 3: Off With Her Head! Wouldn't that make a good movie? At least it'd have a REAL plot instead of some tripe chick flick-arranged marriage nonsense. Really, I'd watch it. In fact, if you're reading this, Disney, give me a call. I truly think that I have something here. Also, with the way Mia was spending money (People are poor here? Oh, we must help them even though my closet is probably bigger than most Genovians' kitchens! And they must be orphans! Everyone LOVES orphans!) I'm not sure how long those royal funds will last.

Another issue I think is that, well, we know nothing about Genovia other than that they have a lucrative pear industry. And, the audience probably being mostly American, we're most likely not apt to buy into that patriotic royalist stuff. Honestly, even most British people that I know insult their own monarchy on a regular basis. What is the Genovian history? What has kept them so placated? Have they tried other government systems before and decided that this one worked best? Surely not all of the rulers have been Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway's deceased father; there must have been some inept and possibly tyrannical Kings and/or Queens beforehand. And surely some years there must have been some meager pear harvests, which if we take the impression from the lavicious palaces and suites in which the royalty reside, would not have hampered royal spending. Come on, even in Aladdin the people were shown as impoverished and pretty miserable while the Sultan sat in the palace playing with his toys. Must Disney shelter its audiences to the point where it's ridiculous? All we're shown in this movie as to the darker side of Genovia are orphans. Please, Disney, I'm begging you: dig a LITTLE deeper. Or at least ditch the stereotypical "eager-to-please" servants; while I know you intended them to be humorous, the portrayal was stupid and in truth maybe even a little offensive.

I won't skewer the "Girl Power" moments in the film because, honestly, they really do it to themselves. I did, however, laugh when they had Raven Simone in it. And she was singing. Every Disney show/movie MUST have Raven in it, and at some point she must sing. It's a given. I was infuriated though that she got to sing with Julie freaking Andrews. That was like Michael Bolton singing "O soave fanciulla" from La Boheme with Renee Fleming on his CD. Sad.

Anyway, like I said, if you can turn off your brain and not analyze things to death like I do, you might enjoy this movie. If you are more like me though, you should probably avoid it. Especially if someone who likes it is watching it, because at some point she'll probably kick you out of the room after one too many snarky comments.

This is a good take off of the first movie. Good All around.